My wellness journey which led me to my current warrior-mom who-doesn’t-shut-up status started with a Standard American Pregnancy that included Prilosec, Diet Coke and a round of antibiotics with a few painkillers for an ear infection on Christmas Eve. Then I had my son in a hospital with two failed epidurals (from which I still have a herniated disc) and a vacuum extraction. He was vaccinated on Day 1 of his life and was never a happy baby, even from the start. He was subsequently fully vaccinated at his 2 and 4 month birthdays, with his symptoms worsening with each round. Upon reflection a few months later, we saw signs of a stroke in pictures that we took of him around this time and similarities to the faces of other vaccine injured children, some who died within 24 hours of their faces drooping like Mac’s did.
Before I was pregnant, the picture was no prettier. I ate literally anything I wanted from the time I started working regularly (at 15) and it wasn’t healthy. I drank alcohol like it was the key to life and smoked cigarettes from 14 on until getting pregnant. I’m not proud of any of it but it made me who I am. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and kind of an opinionated pain in the ass. I was the girl who thought people that went through labor without drugs were just trying to be martyrs or get attention. I refused to feed my dogs decent food because I ate at McDonald’s and I was “fine.” But I think I was born with this spirit because the universe knew one day I would use my voice to speak up against almost every mainstream view and put myself into one “unpopular” category after another with my research and opinions on vaccination, diet and lifestyle, media, materialism, medications (I’m stuck on M’s and I could probably do that with every letter of the alphabet).
Back to motherhood. Thankfully, we found a Clinical Nutritionist who on Day 1 of meeting my son when he was a few months old was able to pinpoint heavy metal poisoning on his pineal gland and in his gut. We got him off of formula (I had already quit breastfeeding because he was so distressed and I didn’t know any better) and onto goat’s milk with supplements and started to see improvements immediately. We then were introduced to chiropractic which gave my son his longest stretch ever of not crying/screaming. I knew enough to quit vaccinating but it honestly took me months to realize that the vaccinations along with the drugs I took during pregnancy were what had caused so much anguish to my baby.
My husband was deployed at the time so I used my time alone to start researching more. There’s diving down the rabbit hole and then there was my paramount level of suctioning down the rabbit hole and having damn near every thought in my head for 27 years challenged by so. much. truth. I went from 0 to 60 with lifestyle changes, diet changes and adapting my instinctual parenting style.
Thanks to Nutrition, I learned what foods I would be better off avoiding and I avoided them. I took some supplements (still do) for deficiencies or toxicities or imbalances in MY body, no one-size fits all protocols over here. My energy and capabilities in life exploded. Within four months of meeting our Nutritionist I had lost 18 pounds and was under my pre-pregnancy weight in a really healthy way, my heartburn was gone, ear infections never came back and I forgot that I had even complained of restless legs before all of this.
Mac’s journey was a little different as we were up against some major damage and serious poison. His gut was in such bad shape that we had to be careful with detox because he wasn’t eliminating like he should have been. But we kept on. I will never forget googling “colic” one night while Jasper was trying to soothe him at two weeks old. For the record, colic = vaccine injury. When he was 1, he still didn’t answer to his name or make much eye contact, he had some weird tics and had we sought an Autism diagnosis, we would have gotten one no doubt. I was still parenting pretty much on my own with my husband deploying nine times back to back after Mac was born so I just took the online assessments and asked my parents to start watching Mac and see what they could see. Once they started paying attention, they saw that same concerning behaviors that I saw, as did Jas when he was home between deployments. But the important thing is that with his diet and supplements and our guidance, we continued to see improvements in him.
The first few things in my new life that blew my mind were GMO’s and the poisoning of the conventional food system by Monsanto with their pesticides and the like, the influence of the pharmaceutical and agriculture industries on our government and the sheer amount of chemicals in the average household. My eyes were opened to essential oils for therapeutic use and natural healthcare in general. It was a lot and coming from the girl who used to say, “Fuck it the sun causes cancer, just do what you want,” I can promise you there was some internal struggle. For a few reasons: 1. Now I would have to admit that my views weren’t all right (the sun doesn’t cause cancer for one). 2. I would have to CHANGE (what human wants to do that when the current way feels nice and warm and fuzzy). And 3. I knew that many of my choices going forward would be met with opposition because ‘Merica…
This next thing is the most important part of my entire journey, it’s the secret to all of it: Never once did I allow myself to be overwhelmed by the journey itself. I never read an article about fragrances and thought that everything I had done up until this point was a failure because I hadn’t gotten rid of my perfumes yet. I took each step as they came. I allowed myself to be on a JOURNEY. I didn’t read that there were pesticides on organic food and somehow reason that they were equivalent to conventional food and say F it, I’ll just eat whatever. I also decided to trust healthy people and their advice. I went from questioning nothing to questioning everything. But I didn’t beat myself up for not knowing better or not changing enough fast enough.
Along the way I have had a hard time understanding how someone can question their dryer sheets for being toxic and then still go about business as usual with detergents and other cleaning supplies. Or not letting your kids play on lawns that have been just treated by the lawn companies with all of their chemicals but using Round Up (which causes cancer because it breaks down into AMPA and inhibits your body from making white blood cells) yourself or feeding your family conventional foods which are full of the same chemicals (Round Up is also now in vaccines by the way.. WTF!?). Poison doesn’t magically become safe when it’s sprayed on a vegetable and it doesn’t give superpowers when injected under the skin ya know? I questioned nothing. And then I questioned everything. The deceit is everywhere and denial and avoidance are the logical response because they’re easy but this world is actually totally navigable. And if you got rid of your toxic dryer sheets last year and it was the only change you made, good for you! It’s a journey and like I said, just because you haven’t made all the changes doesn’t negate the ones that you have!! (Just keep digging Alice).
I have ignored my knowledge at times and fought some major battles and personal struggles. When I found out I was getting divorced I drank a bottle of wine a night easy and stayed up until 4am on a regular basis. Not healthy. I have been no-joke, 100% addicted to Starbucks and dairy. Not healthy. So when I say I don’t understand some people’s choices, do NOT mistake that for judgment. I recognize and appreciate that everyone has to come to truths in their own time.
So let’s break this down. Mac by one week of age cried and screamed for hours per day, often arching his back. He did not have regular bowel movements and it was obvious that he was uncomfortable. He was always fussy so I quit breastfeeding and started giving him the most expensive formulas I could find (all formula in America is shit by the way, it’ll shut them up for a while because it’s loaded with corn and sugar but really, it is unfit for human consumption, there are other options if you can’t breastfeed) . He didn’t sleep well at night or during the day. He didn’t make eye contact with us so bonding was virtually non-existent. Two month well-child visit *rolls eyes* came and he received all of his vaccines. The “colic” became worse. Jasper deployed right around this time so thankfully my mom would come over a few nights a week so help me try to settle him at night. I cried a lot. But the Internet said babies grow out of colic (hah, might stop crying, damage still done). Four month well-child visit *throws up in mouth* came around and he again received the recommended vaccinations. His demeanor again became worse. We didn’t sleep, he was rarely happy. He had moments throughout the day and of course I caught all of the smiles on camera but it was a dark time.
Shortly after that we brought Mac to see a Clinical Nutritionist. She never said a word about vaccines. Just gave us facts. He had heavy metal poisoning and he couldn’t tolerate the formula he was on (it took us months to put it all together). I was a bit stubborn about taking him off of formula but I did after a few weeks and that was the first big good step that I took. We started giving him some supplements as well (but they’re not approved by the FDA!? What!? Oh no!!! Wait, thank gosh. Remember friends, every food and drug ever taken off the market was once approved and deemed safe by the corrupt FDA and I trust people who actually get sick people well, NOT for-profit companies whose responsibility is ultimately not to the consumers of their products but rather to their shareholders or compromised government agencies- the CDC owns patents on and sells vaccines, conflict of interest much?).
Interestingly, your pineal gland is your connectedness to the world. It is considered your third eye and “sees” the things that we don’t see with our two eyes, like vibes and energy. It’s no wonder we weren’t bonding and he wasn’t using his eyes to look at us. He had no connection to us. There’s still guilt there as a parent. I have learned to let as much of it go as possible but that poor baby went through Hell. WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. And if we hadn’t quit injecting him with poison, no doubt we would have lost him for good within a round or two more…
Mac went on goat’s milk with his supplements and we actually went to his six month vaccine visit (which is what they actually are) and declined the inoculations this time. Our pediatrician was super cool with my decision thank goodness because I was in such a vulnerable state I could have easily been bullied into doing them. She didn’t know how to help us but saw what was going on with Mac. She tried to comfort me by telling me that most people don’t have more than one child like this. She referred us to a GI specialist (there was still no recognition of brain injury) but the specialist wouldn’t see Mac unless I put him on a laxative and an antacid for one month before our appointment. I didn’t know much at the time but I knew that that wasn’t going to actually fix anything.
The last communication I had with the medical institution was a phone call to the nurse line when Mac had blood in his stool. Totally normal they said, we know you’re worried, it’s your first child but everything is fine.
We never called another doctor or went to another office visit. The only time I have stepped foot in a hospital or clinic since then is if someone is having a baby in one and I want to visit them. No well child visits. No pediatrician. No more confusion. And since I took control of our family’s well being, we are in the best health of our lives. Everyone can achieve this.
Over time, the supplements began helping. As Mac started eating solids, we used that as an opportunity to give him organic, nutrition packed foods. The first thing he drank besides his goat’s milk was fresh celery and cucumber juice and he loved it. His primary care physician is his chiropractor and I accept full responsibility for his health (as I should). Slowly but surely his digestion and cognition improved. We still had plenty of concerns at one and two and three years old but we have always seen progress, something that many vaccine injured families cannot say.
When kids in his class get pneumonia and strep and whatever else, Mac might get a stuffy nose or a cough and that’s okay. We knocked out HFM Disease in 4 days naturally with just essential oils and he still takes supplements daily. He knows we don’t eat shiny apples and he tells me “Old McDonald’s is yucky.” He can go through my cupboards- even ones with cleaning supplies- and nothing in our house will hurt him. He gets a piece of birthday cake at parties but trades Halloween candy for a toy and his lunch and snacks are packed every day. And that’s not an inconvenience for me, that’s my responsibility as an adult.
When Mac was 1, I left my corporate job and started my own Nutrition practice and I am still on my journey. This is how and why I got here. I’m currently pregnant with our second boy. We are having a homebirth with a midwife and there will be no vaccines ever for our family again. I will get to use everything I’ve learned this far from Mac and it has taught me trust my instincts. I don’t need a book to tell me how to parent my child. It’s all already in me and always has been. Our current society with influences from pHARMa and food tries to make us question ourselves and even depend on government or doctors to make decisions for us. That’s all bullshit.
You know what to do. Kids need you to be in control. Their needs are very simple but when their source of nourishment is poisoned and we are encouraged to ignore contact needs and blindly trust “settled” science (which is impossible by the way), we have a recipe for disaster.
The last thing I would encourage anyone to consider is what is actually conservative and what is actually extreme when it comes to parenting. Nature has always and will always trump science or humans thinking they know better than it. Is it extreme to believe that humans are born perfectly and that they are capable of being healthy with the help of nature and nurturing from their families? Or is it extreme to believe that injecting a child with known poison and carcinogens will somehow make them healthier? Is it extreme to believe that food that is closer to the ground and the farm will nourish us in every way? Or is it extreme to believe that man-made genetically modified foods will do a better job? Is it extreme to believe that a food or herb from the Earth will heal a disease? Or is it extreme to believe that some chemicals put together in a lab that are guaranteed to damage your body are the best option for health care?
It’s okay to be different. Our future depends on it.